What the hell is my next step?

2015 was rough.

Don’t get me wrong. It could’ve been much worse. I still have all my limbs but, damn. I finally left a job that did nothing but dig myself into a rut that I saw no way out of. When I was free, I thought I knew exactly what to do but I was just as lost as I was over two years ago. I found myself asking, “where the hell do I go from here?”

But it was a blessing. It was a kick in my ass to finally finish my grad school application and now, I’m two weeks away from another first day of school.

This also got me thinking of another hurdle I’ve been trying to tackle for the last few years—my struggles with anxiety. I’ve been accused of acting hermit-like but I’ve defended it as a form of self-care. The few people that I’m comfortable with understand my limits and don’t push me beyond those limits. Yet, what if those limits are meant to be broken? At what point does self-care become a self-imposed prison?

I’ve never had a real resolution but I resolve to find the answer to that question this year. When does my self-care start to inhibit my growth and how do I fix that?


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